To Window, or Not to Window

what I'd look like if I had a window
So an article on a very informative and well written blog that I frequent reminded me of a topic I wanted to discuss.
Office windows.
Now I understand that in a 21st century business world, it has (finally) been recognized that adequate natural light improves productivity, employee health (both mentally, and physically), and general work place atmosphere. But I'm not talking about the new buildings, or progressive companies. I'm talking about the company that rents a building constructed in the 60's, built to withstand the commie zombocalypse.

So, windows: some of us have them, most of us don't. Windows are generally a luxury reserved for those faithful employees with seniority in a company. Basically that means, employees that have been there for 3+ decades.
The problem with this is that when you've worked somewhere that long, your minimum age is 50. That means you're old, approaching geriatric. And what do old people* hate? sun. And you know what that does to the windows? PUTS SHADES OVER THEM!!!
So they work FOREVER in a windowless cave/cube/cage/hole/bunker and when they finally actually get to have a window, they are so frightened and injured by the overwhelming influx of light and warmth that they turn away and close every part of the blinds that they can.

Case in point:
I was desperately trying to soak up and enjoy the 1 tiny sliver of golden light clawing its way timidly across the floor when in a flash, it was gone. I looked up in horror squinting through the glaring, flashing light of the fluorescent overheads to see my boss, taping paper to the window in the spot where the sun had so mercifully seeped through. Half cursing and half begging I said "if you don't like the sun, why don't we just trade cubes?" To which he replied, "....hahaha, you can't see a thing with the sun so bright." I thought to myself, not only is that counter-intuitive, it should be considered cruel and unusual.

They give prisoners, in maximum security state penitentiaries windows. You know why? Studies show it reduces suicidal tenancies. I've figured it out, commit mass murder, get an 'effing window every day. Perfect!
-Ty


*the author harbors no ill will toward the few old farts who enjoy sunshine and other similar "hippie liberal sex sharing pot smoking" pleasures. In fact, he salutes you for hanging on to those ideals for so long. Preach brother.

photo via www.photobucket.com