Transition Part 1 of 3: Quit

So I quit my job today.

By quit, I mean I sent in my official resignation letter today. I actually told my manager and the HR rep last week, but that was just to get my work transition started.

I had always planned to quit. I think from the 2nd month I started here, I was ready to quit. I stayed on with the company for 1 year, as recommended, to work through the bump and grind of starting a new job. And after 1 year, I started making plans to leave, the culmination of which, is today.

I grew up without a job, well, I worked at Nordstroms for a summer, but other than that I never had to work. All during college I worked at a research laboratory on campus. So I was quite shell-shocked when I arrived into the large corporation engineering world. The taupe walls, the buildings, un-renovated since the 1970's, the cubicles, the dress code, all served to send me into what can only be described as a depressed, numbed, emotional state. Before working here I could never understand how someone could say

I've worked with this company for 35 years!

without breaking into tears for having a wasted life. But now, I think there are 2 reasons a person could say that. The first, and as I have observed, the more likely, is that they are trying to convince themselves that they like where they are instead of realizing that their current situation is not driven so much by liking what they do, as fear of what could be worse. The second reason is that they truly ARE proud to be where they are, and they actually DO find enjoyment out of what they do.

While the second reason is much less likely than the first, it is what I long for. To be satisfied intellectually, financially, and socially with a job to the extent that working there for an extended period of time would be not only acceptable, but preferred and desired. But there is a certain allure to the stagnant lifestyle, to becoming complacent, to hiding from change for fear of losing what I already have. And I have quite a bit! I have financial independence from my parents, a job that pays for more than my needs and wants at this point in my life, a wonderful girlfriend, and a comfortable home. There is quite a bit to fear to lose. But I can not allow myself to fall into complacency and apathy for my career lest I risk my spirit. Lest I risk becoming one of the neutered drones I see wandering past my cubicle every day, lost in a sea of taupe foam dividers.

I have always planned on returning to school. It was never a question of whether or not I would, simply a question of when. My friends, today is that day. From here, I move forward.
-Ty