Transition Part 2 of 3: Freakout

The most prevalent thought running through my head recently has been

Holy Crap I Quit My Job!

What am I doing!?! I'm 24 years old for crying out loud! I was a design engineer for a huge engineering corporation. I had job security, I was doing design, the work I want to be doing. Sure it was on boring rockets, but you gotta make some sacrifices yeah? What the hell was I thinking!?!

Whenever I tell someone that I quit my job recently, the most common question I get asked is

Aren't you afriad of quitting during these difficult economic times? When people are being layed off, and the un-employment rate is skyrocketing, aren't you concerned about leaving your job?

And that's a pretty scary thought. Yeah, people ARE getting laid off by the thousands, people have lost large portions of their retirement funds to the crashing stock markets, and there are real fears of another Great Depression. Am I being stupid and naive to give up my good paying job and semi-satisfying career right now? Sure, moving around is perfectly normal, but is it wise to do it now?

I am a little afraid of change. Who wouldn't be? Why risk what you have in the pursuit of what you might not get? It seems stupid to give up a bird in the hand for 2 in the bush.

On top of all that, I am, as of 10:35pm December 21st, 2009 in $10199 of debt to the united states government. That may not seem like a lot to most of you, but it is my biggest loan yet, and for being my sole source of income, its a bit of a doozy.

I view my time working for the corporate monster as something similar to being in an abusive relationship. In the beginning, you know somethings not right, but you can't really put your finger on it. Then you start to feel depressed and a little pained, until one day, you forget that those feelings aren't normal, and you learn to live with it. You even miss the pain when its gone, because it doesn't feel like a weight has been lifted, but rather something is missing. In the same way a drug addict gets used to the high, I have begun to get used to the low of the corporate environment. I think that when I pack my cubicle, and return to the hustle and bustle of the student life, that I will miss the stagnant comfort of the padded walls, and soothing demeanor of the office paint scheme.

It's the end of a dark, but significant, era in my life, and I will be a little sorry to see it go.
-Ty

pic via Brokertov