Transition Part 3 of 3: School

I spent a day on campus last week, to see my various graduate advisers, and get the remainder of my class schedule sorted out. I gotta tell ya, it felt good. Really good.

I knew I missed the student life, but I never realized just how much I missed it. Sitting in the semi-plush chairs in the Engineering Lounge, sipping coffee and plugging away on the free wi-fi while the hustle of students milled around and conducted their various school and non-school related tasks. It made me feel young, and alive. I know thats a strange thing for a 24 year old to say, but having spent some time in the "real world" has really aged me.

When I was younger, my mother would always say how our family liked school so much, most of us never left. Which is true, almost every member of my extended family is involved with one university or another in some faculty related function. I always used to scoff in my head, and think that it was just because they were dorks. But really, its pretty sweet being a dork. You have intellectually challenging activities every day, don't have to worry about bosses (in the traditional sense), get to keep your own schedule (for the most part), and never really stagnate as is common in the working world.

I feel like school will be a good thing for me. I can continue to better myself, and improve what I have to offer; while at the same time get away from the hum-drum working world and live as a student for just a little while longer. As for all the logistics of quitting my job and going back to school at a time like this, I still think it's the best thing for me.

I have been wholly un-affected by the financial crisis to date. I have no mortgage, no short term stock investments, my car is paid off, I have no kids, and the 2 years worth of retirement I have accumulated has lost a net of $73.92 since the economic meltdown started. Many companies, including mine, are going through force reductions in the next year or so. But I'll be in school during all that. I will be leaving on my own terms, before I get laid off (which may or may not have happened), and will avoid the worst year my company will see in a long time. And I may even get to come back at a higher salary into a leaner company after school finishes.

My school is funded by loans. Which is un-fortunate, but the federal loans are un-affected by the financial crisis, so I don't need to worry about getting another one next semester. My professor is extremely excited to have me on his TA staff next semester because I have come through his program, and he and I were good friends while I was an undergraduate. The best part is that TAships pay for school, and give you a stipend! So it is likely that I will only need to get through this first semester on loans, and even then, I will supplement my loan with an hourly job to bring in a little spending cash. There is also a remote possibility that in a year or so, I could work with the lab I was employed with as an undergraduate as a designer for their new Mars program . Thats a long shot, but it would be a dream come true.

I feel that this decision is the right one. I avoid all the ugliness of a force reduction at my job, get a higher-education degree, and will come back in a better position to get the work I want, and an even better salary than the one that I have grown accustomed to.

So it is with a clenched fist and head held high, that I begin the transition back to student.
Now if only they'd post the text-book list...
-Ty

pic via CU

Transition Part 2 of 3: Freakout

The most prevalent thought running through my head recently has been

Holy Crap I Quit My Job!

What am I doing!?! I'm 24 years old for crying out loud! I was a design engineer for a huge engineering corporation. I had job security, I was doing design, the work I want to be doing. Sure it was on boring rockets, but you gotta make some sacrifices yeah? What the hell was I thinking!?!

Whenever I tell someone that I quit my job recently, the most common question I get asked is

Aren't you afriad of quitting during these difficult economic times? When people are being layed off, and the un-employment rate is skyrocketing, aren't you concerned about leaving your job?

And that's a pretty scary thought. Yeah, people ARE getting laid off by the thousands, people have lost large portions of their retirement funds to the crashing stock markets, and there are real fears of another Great Depression. Am I being stupid and naive to give up my good paying job and semi-satisfying career right now? Sure, moving around is perfectly normal, but is it wise to do it now?

I am a little afraid of change. Who wouldn't be? Why risk what you have in the pursuit of what you might not get? It seems stupid to give up a bird in the hand for 2 in the bush.

On top of all that, I am, as of 10:35pm December 21st, 2009 in $10199 of debt to the united states government. That may not seem like a lot to most of you, but it is my biggest loan yet, and for being my sole source of income, its a bit of a doozy.

I view my time working for the corporate monster as something similar to being in an abusive relationship. In the beginning, you know somethings not right, but you can't really put your finger on it. Then you start to feel depressed and a little pained, until one day, you forget that those feelings aren't normal, and you learn to live with it. You even miss the pain when its gone, because it doesn't feel like a weight has been lifted, but rather something is missing. In the same way a drug addict gets used to the high, I have begun to get used to the low of the corporate environment. I think that when I pack my cubicle, and return to the hustle and bustle of the student life, that I will miss the stagnant comfort of the padded walls, and soothing demeanor of the office paint scheme.

It's the end of a dark, but significant, era in my life, and I will be a little sorry to see it go.
-Ty

pic via Brokertov

Transition Part 1 of 3: Quit

So I quit my job today.

By quit, I mean I sent in my official resignation letter today. I actually told my manager and the HR rep last week, but that was just to get my work transition started.

I had always planned to quit. I think from the 2nd month I started here, I was ready to quit. I stayed on with the company for 1 year, as recommended, to work through the bump and grind of starting a new job. And after 1 year, I started making plans to leave, the culmination of which, is today.

I grew up without a job, well, I worked at Nordstroms for a summer, but other than that I never had to work. All during college I worked at a research laboratory on campus. So I was quite shell-shocked when I arrived into the large corporation engineering world. The taupe walls, the buildings, un-renovated since the 1970's, the cubicles, the dress code, all served to send me into what can only be described as a depressed, numbed, emotional state. Before working here I could never understand how someone could say

I've worked with this company for 35 years!

without breaking into tears for having a wasted life. But now, I think there are 2 reasons a person could say that. The first, and as I have observed, the more likely, is that they are trying to convince themselves that they like where they are instead of realizing that their current situation is not driven so much by liking what they do, as fear of what could be worse. The second reason is that they truly ARE proud to be where they are, and they actually DO find enjoyment out of what they do.

While the second reason is much less likely than the first, it is what I long for. To be satisfied intellectually, financially, and socially with a job to the extent that working there for an extended period of time would be not only acceptable, but preferred and desired. But there is a certain allure to the stagnant lifestyle, to becoming complacent, to hiding from change for fear of losing what I already have. And I have quite a bit! I have financial independence from my parents, a job that pays for more than my needs and wants at this point in my life, a wonderful girlfriend, and a comfortable home. There is quite a bit to fear to lose. But I can not allow myself to fall into complacency and apathy for my career lest I risk my spirit. Lest I risk becoming one of the neutered drones I see wandering past my cubicle every day, lost in a sea of taupe foam dividers.

I have always planned on returning to school. It was never a question of whether or not I would, simply a question of when. My friends, today is that day. From here, I move forward.
-Ty

The Votes are In!

It's been a while since my last post, things have been crazy busy. I promise I will elaborate on all the juicy bits in the near future.

But for right now, I think it's about time to change that title bar picture, would you agree?

For those of you who voted (and there were quite a bit more than I thought) 90% of you got it right. The image was in fact, the NCC-1701 Enterprise from the new Star Trek movie!


The image is credited to snarkerati.com (or that's where I got it from anyway).

This was a pretty easy one to start with since most of the readers are nerds like me! It'll get more difficult in the future I promise.

The new image and voting system are up so give it a try! And I've scrambled the image name so you can't just download it and read the title...cheaters.

Congrats to you who got it, and good luck in this next round!
-Ty

Colorado Symphony Orchestra v. Nobuo Uematsu

So I wasn't going to post about this, but I figure if I've been harping on something for weeks, perhaps writing it down is a way to get it out of my system so I stop bothering all my friends with it.

Final Fantasy

I suspect many of my readers are familiar with this genre-defining series of games, and if you aren't you can read about it here. Even if you are familiar with the FF series, the number of foot-notes and cross-references in the article might be surprising.

One of the cornerstones of the Final Fantasy game series is it's original scores; orchestrated first on 8 and 16-bit MIDI, and later with full symphonies by the musical genius Nobuo Uematsu (No-boo Uey-maat-su). It would not be much of a stretch to say that a Final Fantasy game without Nobuo's music would not really be a Final Fantasy (which is partly why this author believes FFXII felt a little off).

Even in it's original 8-bit form, you can hear a sense of epic grandeur in Nobuo's work. A feeling that despite the technological limitations, he could hear entire orchestrations under the simple beeps and hums of the first game soundtracks. It's a testament to his musicality and innovation that he would invest so early in such a new artistic medium. A dedication which has paid off tremendously, making him the most recognizable composer for the entirety of an art form.

So it is with great anticipation that I went to see the Colorado Symphony Orchestra in Boettcher Hall in Denver perform Distant Worlds: music from Final Fantasy. Having been an amateur musician, I understand that a professional symphony may only get a few days to work on a project before they begin performing. But that is standard for the caliber of musicians that they are composed of (some of the best symphonies sight-read their performances!). It is also in the norm of musicians to be rather critical of other musicians, and it can get a bit snobby. So imagine yourself an accomplished musician, you've landed a symphony chair (the holy grail for classical musicians), and your director tells you your next performance will be playing music from a video game. You'd scoff. right? Well, I wouldn't scoff, but imagine if you were 50 (the average age of a symphony musician) and hadn't grown up in the video game age. Pretty easy to shrug off the music as a "piece of cake." I have a feeling that the CSO was surprised by the musicality of what they were trying to play.

Having left the performance, after hearing snares more than 1/2 beat off from the symphony, a guitar virtuoso fail almost completely and a choir that more than likely had no idea what was going on, I was understandably disappointed. I hadn't really realized the full potential of Nobuo's music yet. My good friend bought the CD (which I avoided because I was turned off by the performance), and I later realized that the CD was not performed by the CSO, but the Royal Stockholm Philharmonic Orchestra!! I begged and he obligingly let me rip the CD so I could listen to it.

Since then, I can not count how many times I've listened to the whole CD, beginning to end. You could tell the Stockholm Philharmonic practiced, and didn't assume the music would be easy. In the CD, the full potential of Nobuo's epic themes comes to life, perfectly represented and faithfully executed by Sweden's finest musicians.

I have since re-fallen in love with Nobuo's work and feel a little guilty that I didn't get in on the whole Final Fantasy craze until college. It's sort of ruined me, my first real RPG (if you don't count Pokemon) was FFVII. The undisputed champion of the genre and one of Nobuo's crowning achievements. I have since been looking for that contender game that can knock FFVII from the top spot: it is yet to happen, and music is one of the deciding factors in my favorite games list.

What have I learned from all this?

1. Royal Stockholm Philharmonic Orchestra > Colorado Symphony Orchestra
2. Nobuo Uematsu = Visionary = Genius
3. Author of this blog = music snob.

I think it's clear that the final verdict is:
Colorado Symphony Orchestra - zero.
Nobuo Uematsu - Win.
-Ty

image via music4games

It Can't Be Contained

Well, its happened: my embarrassment, modesty, and slim hope of remaining cool can no longer stifle the enthusiasm I feel toward the re-boot of Star Trek.

If you haven't seen the new trailer yet, its a must-see here.

Now that you've seen it, you won't mind if I riff a little.

It's a re-boot. Keep that in mind. When I first saw the teaser for this movie a few months ago, there was in an image of the enterprise being built (its on my site somewhere, but the exact location eludes me at the moment :D) and it looks like it's being built in an atmosphere. I was pissed.

"The enterprise is too big to be built on earth and then reach orbit! They specifically said that in the show! Its been that way forever! What about the Utopia Planetia shipyards? Are they just going to ignore that?"

Well, the answer appears to be yes. But I'm OK with it. Because its been made clear that this is a re-boot. Meaning, they are starting over. Loosely based in its origins, this new Star Trek has a new cannon, a new direction, and the potential for an entirely new take on the Trek universe.

A few years ago, I would have been pissed because a re-boot meant that they were stealing an idea and just doing whatever the frack they wanted with it. But then a little show called Battlestar Galactica came out. It was a re-boot, in the best definition of the term. Tenderly cared for by my hero Ronald Moore, it expressed how awesome a re-boot could be. And now that the community has seen what it takes to have a successful re-boot, I don't think JJ will do it wrong. A fan-boy can hope anyway.


A few things I noticed about the new trailer:

1. Kirk jumping out of a sports car that skids off a cliff....why? but adrenaline junky seems to fit his persona.

   'is the rolling necessary?' 'It helps.'

2. Apparently Spock and Kirk had a bit of a rocky start, judging from the shouting and choking we see. An interesting development, I always suspected Spock was a little annoyed at Kirk from time to time
   
3. A new enterprise. Interesting. I'm OK with it. Similar enough to look familiar, but different enough to look new.
4. A goofy Scotty. I know he was being serious in the original series, but something was always hilarious about him. I'm glad they've embraced that humor.

I've heard a lot of other fan-boys trading around the phrase "raped my childhood" when referring to this movie. I disagree with them. While it is well known that I have a harsh view on un-original ideas, a good friend of mine made the point that something, while based in an old idea, can still be original. What we need to do is not view this with the same fondness we reserve for the Trek of our childhood, but instead with the open-minded curiosity that we would approach any new sci-fi, it just happens that some of the things here will look familiar. We should view all the things we recognize as salutes those heroes of our childhood, but not let them get in the way of what this new thing is trying to be: a new Trek.
-Ty

spock pic via startrekmovie.com
enterprise pic via Big Yellow Taxi

'Twas Bound to Happen

Open warfare here in Old-Man Town (Lockheed Martin/ULA).

A group of older republicans over the cube wall started talking (a bit too loudly to be natural) about how the economy is going to tank, how we are all going to have to pay more taxes, how we will have to sell our cars and get tiny ones, and how we will have to stop having personal possessions now that Obama has been elected president.

The younger guy who sits in the cube near me just started busting out laughing, and I have to admit, I laughed too.

Of course then all hell broke loose.

We just finished a 30 min shouting match about Sarah Palin. They said they liked her, and asked why didn't we? It was brought up that she didn't understand that Africa was a continent. It was brought up that she would have preserved the great country of America for Americans. It was then argued that the previous statement doesn't make any sense. One quote sticks quite prominently in my mind: "She has way more experience as the governer of a state than Obama does as a senator. That level is where all the work happens, where shit gets done."

Lawl.

The general atmosphere around here is subdued, quiet, embarrased, and pissy. And I have to say, I am loving every minute of it.
-Ty

BTW: I recommend reading the entirety of the page I just linked to in this article. Lots and lots of juicy tidbits, including many that I feel sort of redeem McCain.

Welcome to the New World America

Welcome my friends, to the first day that we can truly hope for a 21st century America.

I have no words that can better describe my hopes and dreams for what our nation can be than those already spoken.

I know that the rest of the world feels as we do when we say "finally, the chance for CHANGE."
Europe, Africa, Asia, and even international markets, breathe a sigh of relief as America takes another progressive step in shaping its own destiny.

Today I can hold my head up high and say "Yeah, I'm an American," and today I have seen first hand evidence of the American Dream that was so talked about while I was a child.

To those of you who are still afraid of what CHANGE may bring, I offer these words that were not mine, but had I been more eloquent, would have been.
-Ty

pic via AFP

Vote!

Are ya Votin yet?
After a 7-1 win for the Browncoats at midnight last night, I woke up surprisingly bright and optimistic today. And that is because today is the day that I re-start being proud to be an American. With the GOP's chance of taking the House, Senate, and Presidency appearing to dwindle, it is looking more and more likely that my country will finally start reflecting my views.

Its not all rosy shit and sunshine however. Lets not forget how we got here: President Bush, the GOP's policies for the last several years, and the paranoia, elitism, and fear of the American person. Its easy to line up behind quite possibly the greatest choice for president that we've had in my lifetime, and even easier to blame all the problems we face on his predecessor. But we have to remember that we live in a democratic state. And so the actions of our government reflect on us. The choices it makes can be directly attributed to the choices we make. Far too often have I looked on the actions of our government with shame and disbelief. And just as often I am reminded that everything that has happened, has been allowed to happen. Has been a reflection of the fear that Americans feel and the distasteful acts that arise when fear takes over. We can not allow ourselves to shunt our shame on our government. Because the American system is built such that America as a country acts similar to America as a people.

What I say to you today is Fear No Longer. Act, but not from fear. Act from responsibility, from the goodness of your heart, and America as a nation will act accordingly. Our savior is here, and its not Barack Obama, its not the democrats, its not a bailout package, it is a CHANGE in the hearts and mind of the American people, and because of that, we can all be...Proud to be American.
-Ty

pic via picoodle

To Window, or Not to Window

what I'd look like if I had a window
So an article on a very informative and well written blog that I frequent reminded me of a topic I wanted to discuss.
Office windows.
Now I understand that in a 21st century business world, it has (finally) been recognized that adequate natural light improves productivity, employee health (both mentally, and physically), and general work place atmosphere. But I'm not talking about the new buildings, or progressive companies. I'm talking about the company that rents a building constructed in the 60's, built to withstand the commie zombocalypse.

So, windows: some of us have them, most of us don't. Windows are generally a luxury reserved for those faithful employees with seniority in a company. Basically that means, employees that have been there for 3+ decades.
The problem with this is that when you've worked somewhere that long, your minimum age is 50. That means you're old, approaching geriatric. And what do old people* hate? sun. And you know what that does to the windows? PUTS SHADES OVER THEM!!!
So they work FOREVER in a windowless cave/cube/cage/hole/bunker and when they finally actually get to have a window, they are so frightened and injured by the overwhelming influx of light and warmth that they turn away and close every part of the blinds that they can.

Case in point:
I was desperately trying to soak up and enjoy the 1 tiny sliver of golden light clawing its way timidly across the floor when in a flash, it was gone. I looked up in horror squinting through the glaring, flashing light of the fluorescent overheads to see my boss, taping paper to the window in the spot where the sun had so mercifully seeped through. Half cursing and half begging I said "if you don't like the sun, why don't we just trade cubes?" To which he replied, "....hahaha, you can't see a thing with the sun so bright." I thought to myself, not only is that counter-intuitive, it should be considered cruel and unusual.

They give prisoners, in maximum security state penitentiaries windows. You know why? Studies show it reduces suicidal tenancies. I've figured it out, commit mass murder, get an 'effing window every day. Perfect!
-Ty


*the author harbors no ill will toward the few old farts who enjoy sunshine and other similar "hippie liberal sex sharing pot smoking" pleasures. In fact, he salutes you for hanging on to those ideals for so long. Preach brother.

photo via www.photobucket.com

More Harmonica Please

Well good afternoon everyone!

Today I am in a harmonica mood.
The free song on iTunes today got me in that mood. I would recommend checking it out.
It is folkey, and quiet, but it is really growing on me. Its called "Oh My God, Charlie Darwin" by The Low Anthem. The lyrics are pretty simple and lack as much impact as you'd expect a song with such a title to have, but I find myself entranced by it. Definately check it out if you have iTunes.

If you're in as much of a harmonica mood as I am, here are some other good harmonica songs:
Devils & Dust - Bruce Springsteen
Canadian Railroad Trilogy - Gordon Lightfoot
Spokey Dokey - Yoko Kanno (listen here)

Those are just the first few that hit the top of my brain. If you know more, please tell me 'bout them!
-Ty

photo via www.threeworlds.com.au

Heavy Issues

So, lets get this blog started in heavy fashion.
I was reading through the interwebs this morning and came across this article on BBC news.

Unlike others I have talked to, I am extremely nervous abut this nation's upcoming election. It is no secret that I can be regarded as a hippie liberal treehugger with a smacking of optimist. But despite all that, and despite voting last saturday, I still have a very present fear that our republican candidate, despite his opponent's vast lead, will win the election.

The pure and simple basis for this fear of mine is racism. Have we, as a peoples, transcended this founding hypocrisy of our great nation? Was Lincoln's surgery on the American system adequate to correct its birth defect of bigotry? Unfortunately my answer is no, I don't believe so.

Analysts talk of the Wilder effect, and how it may undermine Obama's projected lead. Despite optimistic articles dismissing the impact of such "closet racism," I fear it will be enough to confirm that this country is not above base bigotry, not above the dark scars that mar its history, and not ready to step into the light that I hope to one day witness.

Either way, I suppose there's not much more I am willing to do about it. I have voted, I have instilled my hope and faith in my countrymen, and I await the final verdict on our baser image as a peoples come Nov. 4th.
-Ty

Hello World!

Hello interwebs!

It has been suggested that since I tend to post such long replies on my friends' blogs, and send so many humorous or aggravating stories to them through email, that it would be easier and less annoying to just have a blog. So here I am, on the internet, spewing my thoughts for the world to read. And by world, I mean the 1 or 2 random bored people who trip over what drivel may lie here.

About the title, lets face it, no one calls me T-Red anymore. Sadly, my name has been butchered (through some fault of my own) to be what it is now, and so I'm going to accept defeat and endorse it here.

The atmosphere I will try and maintain on this blog will be similar to that which is in my own head. So expect to see lots of random things. I will hopefully be able to keep things more or less understandable, but I start out in this blog with no agenda aside from having a place to put down and perhaps get some feedback on all the random things I thing on from time to time.

That said, I hope you enjoy it, and perhaps get some distraction from whatever it is you are on the internet to avoid.
-Ty